There’s nothing more saucy and sexy than a racy text message every now and again. It’s a simple way to remind your significant other that you still want to bang them. Or, if you’re not dating, it’s a good way to blow the competition out of the water. But what makes a good sext message?

Step 1: Picture Message or Text Message?

If you’re going to send a sext message, why not go for the gold and start off with a bang! Take the freaking picture message. Taking a hot picture message takes a little skill, but remember, you too can rock it out like a porn star. Besides, isn’t that what camera phones were invented for?

Step 2: Taking the Picture Message

Full frontal? A shot from behind? Logistically this may be a little tough, but where there’s a will there’s a way. No matter what type of picture you want to send you will need two props: a mirror and your cell phone’s self timer. Point the camera at yourself and use the mirror to see what the camera sees. Or you can set the self timer and with a little trial and error you’ll be taking pics like a porn star in no time. Refer to porn sites for some quality poses you can try out.

Step 3: Writing Your Saucy Text Message

1) It’s a statement: writing a good sext message should be a statement. There is no question involved! Be confident and demanding.

2) Stroke your partner’s ego: make sure you make your partner know how much you want them. Throw in a compliment.

3) Use keywords:

Action: use action words. Make sure your partner knows you want it NOW. Your partner will be counting down the minutes until 5 p.m. when they can get out of the office and into your pants.

Examples: cum, be on, make you, ride, taste, suck, play, etc.

Swears: don’t be afraid to throw in a swear here or there. Sometimes the emphasis of a swear, gives you that extra little something, something!

Adjectives: use strong descriptive words

Example: hot, sexy, horny, etc.

Nouns: be dirty when referring to body parts It’s a sext message people.

Examples: cock, dick, tits, pussy, ass

Pet Names: always a good time to throw in “baby,” “sexy,” or maybe, their first name…maybe.

Step 4: The Element of Surprise

A good sext message comes unexpected. There’s nothing better than receiving a dirty pic or message, especially when you’re sitting at your desk or at the mall. It certainly makes those 4 p.m. blues at the office just a little bit brighter. Don’t send your sext message on a Friday night when your lover expects it, send it mid afternoon and they won’t be able to get you out of their mind for the rest of the day. Guaranteed.