Results from a Samsung Telecommunication America survey were recently released in Business Wire magazine and folks, the findings ain’t pretty. The September 2009 study found that 31 percent of men and women in Boston would rather give up sex rather than their cell phone for a year.

Are you kidding me people? You’d rather have your mother leave you annoying voice mails rather than getting laid for A YEAR?! What’s your cell phone for besides sending text message booty calls, setting up booty calls, and calling your booty call? Unbelievable.

This got me thinking, why would 38% of women and 19% of men make this wildly inappropriate choice? Besides the obvious (they’re not getting laid properly), perhaps it’s because most cell phones nowadays can replace sex with a real person. The Samsung study found that the average Bostonian spends 3 hours a day chatting, texting, or sending pictures and video messages. Are dirty texts and racy video messages enough to satisfy?

Well for one thing, you can chat like a player and send texts like a player without truly committing to one person. No worries about dating, flowers, or that cold sore on your date’s lip with this completely virtual way of dating. Mobile porn downloads and online mobile dating make that dinner date by yourself a hell of a lot more interesting. And finally, more intense vibration settings on many cell phones (lol I wish), can possible make mobile phones more exciting than a real partner. Regardless of how intimate you are with your cell phone, it’s time to step away from the device and start getting some action – there is no app for that.